S5 Ep 86 : Permission to Be You (and how Play can help you get out of the box)
Welcome back! It's Season 5 and we are back in the blanket fort (now in video as well!). In this episode, Lucie shares the overview of what this season will explore. Her big aha moment from the last few months on the power of letting yourself step outside the box that other people want to put you in and instead define yourself and your life on your own terms.
So if you need a permission slip to live your life your way and some inspiration on how to make that happen, then this is just that.
Tune in to get:
a fresh take on how to embrace all parts of ourselves
a permission slip to adult however works for you
permission to figure it out and have fun whilst you do it
Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Welcome to Almost Grown…up, the podcast where we figure out life. One creative detour at a time.
Hi, I'm Lucie, a writer, creator, and your creative companion around here. We believe that play and wonder aren't just for kids, but they're the tools that we can use to navigate life's big questions, reconnect with joy, and find our way when we are feeling lost and realize the map we are on isn't our map.
Each week we'll explore growing up with stories, inspiration, and one huge permission slip to create your own beautiful and occasionally messy life.
So clamber into the blanket fort. Let's dive in.
Hey team, welcome back to the blanket fort. It's season five, can you believe it? And we are here in a physical blanket fort. I am so excited to have made this podcast a video podcast. I hope it is a great way to connect with you all a little bit more and a little bit more personally. Um, and I'm hugely excited for what this season has in store.
So let's dive in.
So as you know, at the start of every season, I like to do a bit of a recap of like, where are we? Let's like place ourselves on the map of what we're doing here and why we're here. And as I went away and spent the last three months thinking about what this podcast was gonna be and how I was gonna create and produce it and what was important to me, one of the big things that came up was really reflecting.
Where I am now and what I wanna talk about now, and I think with every season that matures and grows and changes, and I really appreciate that you're here on the journey with me doing it, figuring it out, because I think that is the seasons of adult in life, right? We go through these phases of feeling inspired and passionate about a direction and building momentum and doing lots of stuff, and then.
A lot of the times that comes to fruition. And then we go again into the sense of, okay, where am I now? I maybe feel a bit lost. I'm not sure what the next direction is or what the next thing is. We maybe find some goodness in what we created and we maybe find that some of what we created wasn't
[00:02:00] exactly what we thought it would be, and it can throw you into that world of, okay, like what am I doing?
Let's re-clarify. So. I'm kind of thinking about my life, like seasons of the podcast, and I needed to re-clarify what season I was in because over this last year I've had a huge shift in the way I live my life, in the responsibilities that I have, in the priorities that I have. Back last February, I became a mother, and I have to say that that change for me threw me off into this world of feeling a bit lost again, like.
I realized this new identity didn't necessarily fit with all of these other things that I'd built, and I was desperately trying to squeeze myself into a box that just never felt right. It was always feeling like I had to choose between two things and I. And one wasn't right, and the other one wasn't right.
And it was so frustrating to not feel like, why can't there be one thing? Um, why is my like arm sticking out of this box and my legs sticking out of this box? And, [00:03:00] you know, you can imagine those cats that like to get into, into any small space. Like I felt like I'm, I've been a bit like that, trying to squeeze into this definition of who I said I was and what I said I was creating in life.
And the podcast in some ways has been a reflection of that, of that moment of where I'm in. And I realized as I sat down to plan episodes, like I wasn't ready to really be clear about what I was talking about, and I really struggled to define what I was doing. And that's been a challenge because people ask me, oh, what's your podcast about?
And I've always been a bit like, ah, kind of about play, kind of about growing up, kind of about permission, you know, to, to craft your adult life the way you want to. And I see people's eyes glaze over and I lose them because. I'm not a hundred percent clear on what I'm doing here. And so I really wanted to spend this time before we kicked off season five to be like, this is what I'm doing here.
And like any good [00:04:00] millennial, I took myself to a coffee shop and I journaled, and it felt amazing. And as I was sitting there trying to be like, Lucie, what is this? What are you doing? What do you need? I realized I needed permission to not fit in the box. I needed permission to be all the parts of myself and to not be a hundred percent understandable, to not be a niche or a brand or one thing, but to be all of the things and trust that if I let myself be all of the things and be a little bit messy and a little bit confusing that.
That would connect to the other people who also need that permission because trying to fit in a box just quite frankly hurts your back. And we, we are growing up. Nobody wants back problems, right? Let's, let's not be the people that have back problems 'cause we are bending over backwards to squeeze ourselves into something that does not fit.
Instead, let's give ourselves permission to be all of ourselves. Um. [00:05:00] And when I started this podcast, it came from the need to redefine what growing up meant. It came from the need to say, Hey, if I go by the definition of what growing up means to other people, I've royally screwed up. Like, I really not got to where I thought I would get to by 30, which was the kind of thing that kicked off the entire impetus for this podcast.
And I realized what I needed was permission to rewrite what a definition of growing up meant for me. And now as I've slowly redefined that description, I realize I need to give myself permission to, I. Not have to fit into a version of myself that the world thinks I am, that the people close to me think I am, that I think I am or should be, but instead actually allow myself to grow and expand, which is what growing up is.
It's the growing right, it's that growing part, and when we can give ourselves permission to [00:06:00]change, to grow to. Be different parts of ourselves to be a little bit confusing, to not necessarily be consistent surprise people with that. Oh, you don't usually do that, or, huh, that's a little bit different. And be willing to, to be that at the.
The cost of letting ourselves actually be ourselves and maybe breathe out and maybe relax our back because we don't have to fit in a box, but we can be in that open free range area, and that is what I want this podcast to be about. I want this podcast to be permission for you to not only define what growing up means to you, but to.
Be all of yourself as you grow and to explore all of the different parts of yourself and that be okay, and that be the joy and experience of growing up of life.
I, [00:07:00] and how do I think we do that? Because let's say that is not an easy task, right? But I think. And I think this is the premise of the podcast, right? This is the, the crux of the meat that you're gonna get out of this. Hopefully it's that permission, but also the how, the, like, how do we go? Because it's an amazing concept, right?
Yes. I wanna figure out what growing up means to me. Yes, I wanna allow myself to grow into all of myself and be all of those things. But like Lucie, how, okay, because it's a really nice sentiment, but genuinely like what am I doing today about that? Um, and I realized for me. That is what play is. That is what wonder is.
That is what I'm passionate about, is giving myself, and hopefully you, permission to be like, figuring this out. Is the play, play is the tool that we are going to use to figure out what growing up looks like to us and who we are and allow ourselves to grow and wonder and curiosity are the things that [00:08:00]help us.
Get there, there play and wonder are our toolkit, play and wonder are the tools in our toolkit, um, that I think can make all the difference?
So what does that look like? Let's dive in.
So way back in episode one, I spoke about the framework of what I thought growing up really actually was what it, the fundamentals of growing up required because.
It didn't require for me, I realized to have the job, to have the house, to have the relationship, to have, you know, what it looked like to be a grownup. I thought a grownup was when I was a child. Like, you know, those things that you would draw if you were drawing what a grownup meant. It would be like maybe you have a house and a car and a partner and kids and this job and next money and all of that stuff.
When. I needed to redefine a very base [00:09:00] level of what growing up was and I settled on, which is I think a conclusion I stand by that really all that growing up requires of all that growing up requires of us. And when I say all, it's actually quite a big thing, but it's simple, not easy, um, is to accept the world as it is.
To greet whatever the actual factual circumstances of our life. Of the world in which we're in the environment. In which we're in, as they are. Because when children greet the world and it's not as they are, they can throw a tantrum because they're figuring that out. They're trying to rail against it.
They're trying to push back and say, no, this isn't the world I want and I'm not gonna accept it. And growing up is fundamentally. Stepping back and saying like, oh, okay, this isn't the world I want. This isn't the life I want necessarily. This isn't the feeling I want. This isn't the experience I want, but I accept that.
Or maybe it is what I want, and I accept [00:10:00] that. And then once we've accepted the very true reality of it, then taking responsibility for where we are, our part in it. And if we wanna change it, what we can do is to change it. And if we wanna celebrate it and revel in it, what we can do to celebrate and revel in it and find more joy and pleasure in that moment that we're in.
And fundamentally, I think growing up requires of us these two things to accept the reality and then to take responsibility for it, which means we can maybe change things. Or we can go deeper into things or we can move things in a way that feel right to us. And I think when we can do those two things, which like I say, it's a simple formula, but it's not an easy one.
I think that is what growing up requires of us. We can say, Hey, okay, I can accept this and I can take responsibility for the fact that [00:11:00] I've created it, but if I wanna change it or if I wanna amplify it.
How, what? What does that look like? And this, I think is what I didn't talk about before and what I really wanna talk about now and will be the underlying theme for all of the podcasts moving forward is how we do that. How we figure things out are by using play, are by using wonder. Those tools from childhood that gave us so much goodness that helped us make meaning in the world, they're the things that are gonna help us grow.
Play then isn't something that we do. It's not something we add on top. It's not that top of the Maslow's hierarchy of needs thing. It's like, oh, when I've sorted out the fact that I feel lost when I figure out how to move out of this burnout. When I figure out whether I'm making this huge decision on that huge decision, when I decide [00:12:00] whether I'm staying in this relationship.
Or leaving it when I'm taking that job or leaving it, whether I'm going out on my own path, whether I'm having children, whether I'm not having children, whether I am going, traveling, investing this money, um, making those big adulting decisions, the ones that we don't get a lot of practice at, we can use play and wonder to be the tools that help us figure out how to make those decisions.
In our way with our map, with our compass, with our inner sense of knowing, not the map that the world has created for us, not the vision of what growing up is from the outside or even the box that has been labeled. You know your name on the side and you, and you've been put in it, you know that. We don't have to accept those things as the guardrails of life.
We can build our own, but building our own requires us to step into this place of [00:13:00] play. To be willing to experiment, to give ourselves permission to take a step down a path and find out actually that path is full of brambles and does not feel great. And I wanna go over that way because I've seen that there's some sunshine.
Or to be like, I know this is the way and there are brambles in the way and I've gotta figure that out. So I, how am I gonna do that? How am I gonna play my way through this experience that necessarily isn't necessarily comfy? You know, because actually, I. Growing up and charting your own path isn't necessarily gonna be comfy, but that doesn't mean that we can't call on those moments of play and wonder to help us be that internal compass to help us find that route that is ours and create a life.
You know, life is a creative act to live is to create and build and the way that we create something that feels like us and is truly ours. [00:14:00] Is, I think through tapping into what we knew as a child, that inner wisdom that we had around how to figure out the world and ourselves in it, and that is to play and that is to wonder.
So join me in season five as we explore how we sharpen those play tools and those wonder tools, how we get them out of our toolkit whenever we need them, how we face into these big adulting moments, how we navigate the hard choices of life. Because let's face it, it is not easy. Nobody saying that being a grownup is comfortable and it's.
Might look like the picture. It might not. It might feel great when it looks like the picture. It might not. But the way that you are gonna figure all of that out is by giving yourself permission to be you to define what growing up means for you, and to play and wonder your way to that. So next episode, I'm gonna dive into play and how I really see it and how we can kind of [00:15:00] start sharpening that initial tool.
So I really hope that you can join me then. It's been so nice to kick off this season with you. I am so happy to be back in the blanket fort. I wanna catch up. I wanna hear how you're doing. Leave me a comment, let me know. Um, I feel that we haven't talked in ages. You know, we need to, we need to get some, some good chat going so you can join me in the comments on Spotify.
You can join me in the comments on YouTube. You can join me over on Substack in the growth chat and we can chat there in the chat because that's my favorite place. I feel like it's our own little personal WhatsApp group where we can be like, what is going on with live? How are we doing this growing up thing?
Um. So, yeah, join me there. I am so excited to be back. I'm so looking forward to all of the stuff we have coming up this season and how we are gonna dive into play and wonder. I would love to hear what you are tackling with what you are dealing with right now. Any topics that you wanna hear about and how you might apply, play and wonder to those, let me know.
Please, please, please leave me a comment. So if you are feeling super [00:16:00] generous in this moment and you want to make my day, make me do a little happy dance, I can, I can film it if you want.
Um, it'll be an interpretive dance of joy. Um, I would love it if you would leave me a review or rate the podcast or share it with a friend because I'm hoping to grow this space, to grow this space where we can give ourselves permission to be us because it's so much nicer to do it as a team, right. It's so much nicer to feel like, Hey, I might be stepping out of the box.
But to realize once you, you get out of the box, you're not out there alone. There are other people also stepping out of their boxes and figuring it out because it's really fricking scary to step out of the box. And there's that moment where. It's really uncomfortable 'cause we realize we might be euphoric all of a sudden because we let go of that back pain and then we're all like, oh God.
But it's still there and holding onto me and it's so important in those moments, I think, to be able to look either side of you and see. That there are other people [00:17:00] there to grasp your hand, to hold the space with you, to be part of your team. So if you are here and watching, welcome to the team. Thank you so much for being here.
Um, genuinely, it makes me feel so blessed that we can do it together, because growing up is not easy. But let's try as much as we can to make it the most joyful, fun, pleasurable experience we can accept when it's not gonna be that. Hold each other when it's not like that. And also hold each other when it is to be able to enjoy and relish the wonder that it is to be alive.
So thank you so much for being here. I look forward to seeing you next week. But in the meantime, happy growing.
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